Mom Friend
by immafishcracker
Summary: It seemed that everyone James knew was uncommonly good at getting what they wanted. Or maybe he was just awful at it, because, to be honest, he couldn't even get his dog to roll over. His family was amazing at convincing people to do things for them, but he could barely convince his barista to get him a half-decent cup of coffee. Marauders College Au


**Notes:** So, this is just a little drabble I wrote for my creative writing class and thought I would post it. I have a headcanon that both Sirius and Remus are really good at arguing, but while Remus sticks to logic and facts, Sirius is more emotional. I think he'd get a lot of it from his mother and would really know how to tear someone apart if he wasn't careful. But that's a darker story for another day, this is really just a lighthearted fic about James coming to terms with his newfound motherhood.

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It seemed that everyone James knew was uncommonly good at getting what they wanted. Or maybe he was just awful at it, because, to be honest, he couldn't even get his dog to roll over. His family was amazing at convincing people to do things for them, but he could barely convince his barista to get him a half-decent cup of coffee.

James' father was a car dealer, and a successful one at that. His words had a sort of confident flow to them, chipping gently at a customer's senses like the subtle waves of the ocean. He could convince someone that a rusted piece of junk was the car of their dreams. They'd have the contract signed and the money handed over before they came to their senses and realised what had happened.

James' mother was unemployed, but that didn't mean she didn't work. Mopping muddy footprints off linoleum floors, scrubbing grass stains from the knees of dirty jeans, baking cookies for the new neighbors across the street, she always seemed to be busy. Still, it was a motherly type of busy, scolding people for not eating enough or going outside without a coat. She had this glare when she disapproved of something, and there was no backing her down from it. In the end everyone just _had_ to comply with her demands.

James had childhood was filled with vivid memories of his arguments being constantly shut down, so much that he was branded a doormat until his teen years. With so many persuasive family members, James was ecstatic to finally move out to go to college. That is, until he realised that his two best friends, Sirius and Remus, were each more persuasive than his entire family combined.

The thing was, the two each had such different styles of arguing.

Remus, ever the nerd, took the logical course, preferring to win his arguments with cold hard facts. His words would flow like rivers, each statistic linking directly to his next point, making it impossible to find a reasonable contradiction. He was always studying, so it was no wonder why he knew so much about so many topics.

Sirius was the complete opposite. He had inherited his mother's sharp tongue and wicked words. When in an argument, the normally relaxed and laid back boy would turn suddenly serious, insults streaming from his mouth and stabbing his opponent like knives. He could care less about facts. His only intention was to completely destroy whomever he was arguing with.

James preferred to side with his friends whenever fights broke out, but, of course, everything was different when they were arguing with _each other_. All he could do was try and calm them down before they destroyed the entire dorm.

It had been a warm spring night, but despite the good weather, all the students were shut in their apartments, studying for finals. All the students except James, who had left his dorm to find some actual food to eat, rather than the all-natural, gluten-free stuff Remus was always shoving down their throats. He hadn't been expecting to hear yelling as he made his way back to the dorms, though.

Slipping in quietly and dropping his grocery bags by the door, James found his two roommates nose to nose in a vicious shouting match. Remus's face was red, and he was trying to keep his trembling voice even, tearing up like he did when he was frustrated. As cool and mature he tried to act, he was easily overwhelmed.

Sirius' face, on the other hand, was pale, a heavy scowl playing across his lips, and his long hair mussed. His eyes were narrowed, cold and dark, like they were when he blocked out the world and let his words run wild.

"I TOLD YOU, IT WAS ON THE WEBSITE, THE PROFESSOR TOLD US TUESDAY THAT WE NEEDED-"

"THIS IS YOUR FAULT! IF YOU WEREN'T SUCH A CONTROL FREAK THAT NEEDS EVERYTHING ABSOLUTELY PERFECT-"

"YOU'RE ALWAYS IGNORING ME! IF YOU'D JUST LISTEN, IT WOULD HAVE WORKED! I TRIED TALKING TO YOU AT LUNCH AND BEFORE CLASS BUT YOU BRUSHED ME OFF! "

" _I'M_ THE ONE IGNORING _YOU_? YOU'RE THE ONE WHO ALWAYS SHOVES EVERYTHING DOWN OUR THROATS AND JUST _HAS_ TO BE IN CONTROL OF ABSOLUTELY EVERYTHING!"

Sirius kicked the coffee table over, sending the piles of papers and textbooks resting on it flying, and James decided that it was really time for him to intervene.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa." James wedged himself between his two friends, and for a moment was in real danger of being punched by both of them. "What on _Earth_ is going on!"

"Get out of my way, James," Sirius growled, eyes flashing with anger.

"I leave and you two are best friends, but I come back and suddenly you hate each other?"

"He started it," Remus mumbled, pouting softly.

"Are you serious! You're the one who-"

"Guys!" James shouted sharply, trying to push the two away from each other. "That is _enough_! Go to your rooms!"

The two fell silent, staring at James.

"James… I'm twenty-one," said Remus, blinking slowly and wondering if his roommate had gotten crazier somehow.

"Yeah, we're not kids!"

James scowled, shaking his head in disapproval. "Well, you're acting like children, so go to your rooms and calm down. I will not tolerate arguing in this household!"

His roommates gaped at him for a moment, then, to James' surprise, slowly turned around and retreated to their separate rooms, Sirius muttering savagely, "You are _just_ like your mom."

James frowned, but picked his grocery bags off the floor and started making dinner. He knew his friends weren't the kind to hold grudges, and would make up as soon as they had a chance to cool off.

Sure enough, not an hour later, Sirius burst out of his room, bawling like the drama queen he was, and howling apologies at Remus' door. Remus opened it tentatively and was immediately knocked off his feet, Sirius tackling him in a fierce hug.

James sighed and rolled his eyes as Remus patted Sirius' head awkwardly. He couldn't resist smiling a little as he watched them turn from five year olds to hormonal teenage girls. Maybe it wasn't a bad thing he didn't argue so much.

Still, it seemed he _had_ inherited a thing or two from his mom. It would come in handy the next time his roommates were neglecting their dish duty.

Wait… did this make him the _mom friend_?!

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 **Notes:** Lol, okay I'm not great at writing arguments, tell me what you think anyways.

Constructive Criticism is always welcome!


End file.
